Air Travel, etc.

January 13th, 2011 § 0 comments

My first post, and I’m using it to decry the indignity and unpleasantness of modern air travel. I am the king of originality. That, in itself, makes a point: we are all sick of [rudeness/genital scans/overbooking/missing luggage/mysterious surcharges/dubious food/Godzilla-related turbulence], yet nobody has thought of a solution. And neither have I. I’m just going to bitch impotently about my experience, exactly the same as everybody else.

So, to business: I was heading home for Christmas, filled with cheer, goodwill and so forth. Shocked as they were by the annual arrival of winter, the airline cancelled my flight. Nothing special there, although it did result in my birthday being spent staring at a departures screen rather than rolling off a plane and into a pub as I had intended. Long story short, I ended up in the UK two days late, on Christmas eve, and my luggage did not. Even then, my shining holiday spirit was not crushed – still I radiated love, or at least a slightly less vitriolic brand of hatred, to all those around me. If my story ended here, people would question what the problem was; a 48 hour delay and a lost bag are hardly enough to even be considered worthy of complaint, after all.

The real fun started a few days after Christmas, as I was sitting around in borrowed clothing, strongly resembling someone who had staged a slightly inebriated robbery at a charity shop. The news that my bag had been located and was on its way only four days late filled me with the kind of joy usually only found when you notice that the mugger took your cash but kindly left your credit cards. So, one day wasted sitting around waiting for the promised delivery. The next day came renewed promises, and renewed disappointment. The following day it seems they felt it was time for a change; rather than promising that my bag would be delivered, they decided to tell me that it was still at the airport and offer the option for me to pick it up in person. I’m sure the customer service rep had a great laugh at my expense as I came home from a six hour round trip to the airport to collect a bag that was not, in fact, at the airport.

The bag did eventually turn up, two weeks late, and missing the one piece of expensive electronic equipment that I had been foolish enough not to put in my hand luggage. Rather than doing anything so dignified as offering an apology, and perhaps even some kind of reimbursement or compensation, the airline have decided that the best course of action is to totally ignore me in the hope that I go away and stop my whining.

I would say that I hope Lufthansa go and die in a fire, but then I would probably end up in the same boat as Paul Chambers, so I suppose that hoping those responsible suffer some mild discomfort until such time as they apologise will have to suffice.

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