Barrel. Fish. Shooting.

January 16th, 2011 § 0 comments


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“My whole life, I thought I was a Capricorn,” the 25-year-old publicist said. “Now I’m a Sagittarius? I don’t feel like a Sagittarius!” It felt, she said, like a rug had been pulled from under her feet. “Will my personality change?” she mused. “Capricorns are diligent and regimented, and super-hard-working like me. Sagittarians are more laid back. This is all a little off-putting.”

I could not possibly allow myself to stoop to mocking these fine citizens. They have, after all, unlocked the fundamental secrets of time itself. They may predict at will the minutiae of life on this insignificant little planet, yet they do not impose their wishes upon us as they so easily could with their extraordinary gifts. They satisfy themselves with a life of quiet contemplation, realising in their zen-like calm that there truly is nothing more important than which celebrity just gained weight, or whose relationship will be the next to fail. Would that we could all reach such enlightenment.

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